optimistic kinda sorta

I don't want to believe in retrogrades but it's hard not to.

Last week was weird. A lot of worry and sadness, but also learning how to not let it throw me all the way off. I don't know what it is about my life right now but it's filled with these wild ups and downs. I'm enjoying my job, less stress, more accountability and I feel like I'm being shaped for something. But on the personal side I'm having scares with my grandmother and getting news that a friend is going through something I can't help with. 

It's been a wild few weeks, peaks and valleys and all that.

On the lighter and more hilarious side has to be when I made a visit to another department in Brooklyn to retrieve some building access passes.

I've been to this site before and dropped off the paper work about a week ago no real impression of the woman I dealt. This trip however became something different. It started with very run if the mill small talk about the weather. As most New Yorkers know our weather is tempermental and hard to predict, especially when we enter spring or depart summer. 

So small talk turned into this woman trying to make eye contact, touching me and batting her eyes. When my coworker mentioned my name this woman suddenly exclaimed "Oh you're Danielle!" And my co worker responded with "Yeah this is our cute and adorable Danielle". This woman then said "She's beautiful!"

I laughed. When I tell you I registered not a damn thing that transpired while also noting it mentally, like I could not have been more of a capricorn in that moment. And it's not that she's unattractive, she's pretty, slim, curly hair, nice eyes. I just literally haven't looked at anyone like "that" in years. 

So it wasn't until my straight coworker asked on our way back "was it me or was she flirting with you?", that it came together in my head. The hilarity of a straight person pointing it out is not lost on me. 

But gotta take the lighthearted moments where I can. I keep hoping this is a signal on how my summer is gonna go. Optimism is new to me but I'll take it, especially if it means that I can still laugh when things spin out.