🤐😮‍💨

 

The misconception that you being my first is the reason why I am affected so deeply, has created a disconnect in communication. The depth of emotion I felt/feel does not stem from some one time occurrence of physical intimacy. Hell, if that was the case I would have been broken up over my ex that got a one night stand from me for reasons that are hilarious but far too graphic to share here. 

What I felt with you...it was deeper than that. It wasn't just wanting to feel your lips on mine or my hand pinning yours against the bed. It wasn't about just wanting to devour you like a divine 3 course meal prepared by God himself. It wasn't the way you tasted on my lips. It wasnt the site of your body writhing and shivering at the touch of my tongue. Despite how seared upon my memory that image is, that is not why i was so deeply affected by you. It was much more, so much more.

It was the sense of safety you had created for me to just exist. For the first time in my life I felt wanted. I felt like I belonged someplace, to someone. And because of that my heart opened, revealing its most tender portions. I felt like I could breathe.

I fell, hard.

And then you left.